Please understand me

"Rue, why are you being so standoffish?"
"What are you talking about - I just got here!"
"Well sit over there with everyone else then."

I'm not aloof! ...But if it were just one person to bring it up, one might dismiss it. When different people say something along the same lines on different days, maybe it's time to take them seriously. So maybe I am a bit. Or a lot.
But it's not my fault - I have a good reason! That's the kind of person I am. If I am to be true to myself, I shouldn't try to be anything else...

No, that's a lie - I know. If I am to be true to myself, I should understand who I am and deal with it accordingly. I could say I withdraw because I'm so frazzled dealing with the reality of moving everything I own within a week on top of adjusting to a new department at work on the backdrop of a thousand other things.
But that's all landscape. It doesn't dictate who you are. The rain falls on us all but we don't all deal with it in the same manner. Some open an umbrella, others run for cover. Some ignore it and keep walking on, others walk faster. Some curse the skies, others dance.
Ok, I may enjoy the occasional walk in the rain, but in the proverbial storm, I'm probably the one who takes cover. I've had the misfortune of being labeled as an idealist - an INFP by Keirsey personality indicator. The article explained to me better than I understood myself how one person who talks to me alone can call me chatty while others who see me in a crowd would say I'm quiet; how I can be bold with a pen yet reticent in person; how rational thought takes a back seat to intuition or how I feel about any given situation. Though I do maintain that listening to the advice of rationals over my own predispositions has typically led to some of the biggest fiasco's of my life.
But one thing to which the article speaks is how people see in an idealist someone who can understand things from their angle and will therefore gravitate towards that one for mediation. People notice someone who seems to care yet doesn't go blabbing everything left and right and they see a confidant. What they don't see is someone who cares too much. At some point, after hearing one too many terrible stories something died inside of me. Withdraw to a safe place and shut off. Or go mad.
So I suppose the first real reason for acting cold is out of an aversion for conflict.
The other reason you might call confidence. Or rather the lack thereof. I certainly have some pretty compelling reasons to feel worthless. But aside from those, nothing will bring you face to face with any lack of confidence as standing on a stage looking like an idiot - incidentally something I've been in the habit of doing lately.
I've discovered a super power you see. I have the ability to become invisible at will... Only it's not through my will that it is manifested, rather it is triggered by the will of anyone else who happens to be around (usually overly-aggressive drivers, but that's a different story). Now some might say that if you have no control over your super power, maybe it's not really so super. That may be true but I've got it all figured out. If you make it look as though you want to disappear when you're about to vanish, everyone will think you're in complete control of that power. Fortunately, I do have full control over the deactivation of the skill. All anyone has to do is make a fool of themselves and they'll immediately have everyone's attention.

One of the reasons I feel that the process of putting together a stage show is the best part of the whole production is that it is a conduit for learning to step out of your normal mode of reaction. For instance, one worried about what others think begins to care a little less. By showtime, it's almost as though you've become a new person - until it's over and you go back to normal. In my case of course, whether I care what people think or not, I still look like a lamoid on stage. But at least I can be certain of one thing for that brief moment - for one glorious instant, I know that I'm not invisible.